Mistakes, boy do we know how to make them as parents. For me, when I know for sure that I’ve made a mistake I try my best to overcome that mistake and move on from it. However, some mistakes are not that easy to get over. They are not as easy as fixing something on the computer, or apologizing to a family member or friend for a comment that had been made out of context. No, parenting mistakes tend to stick with you for a while and as a parent you have no choice but to deal with the consequences. Several years ago, while watching some random tv show (I think that it was a rerun of Dawson’s Creek of all shows to watch) I heard a quote and it has stuck with me throughout the years: “There is no right or wrong; just the consequences of your actions.” Man alive does that quote mean more to me now as a parent, than what it did when it was just me as an adult. As an adult, we tend to just suck it up and move on; but as a parent, we see the residual effects of those actions on a day to day basis.
Okay, where this is leading to. Just about a month ago, Devin and I finally finished Olivia’s big girl room. New paint, new bed, new linens, chair, dresser, you name it we had purchased it for her. We were so excited for her to be a ‘big girl’ and making the essential transitions for being that of her age. However the changes were not coming as readily as we had hoped. I laid with her for the first couple of nights (mistake #1) until she fell asleep, as I did not want her to feel scared in her new room (yes, apparently I have become soft with motherhood). She at some point in middle of the night would come running into our room, snuggle down with mommy & daddy and would awaken in the secure place beside us.
After four days of this, we found ourselves at Surfside Beach & Myrtle Beach for a five day retreat/vacation. Since she is as big as she is, we didn’t think that a Pack & Play would be worth bringing as there would not be a whole heck of a lot of room (mistake #2). Hindsight tells me that we should have brought it so that she knew that sleeping by herself is still the normal. However, we cozied it up in a Murphy Bed each night and woke up to the sound of the waves with one another.
Upon our return trip home, it was back to trying to get her to sleep in her own room. Mommy back laying beside her until she fell asleep and me getting frustrated because she wasn’t falling asleep very quickly and my mind wandering with the several other things that I could be getting done around the house. Finally after three nights, I caved and allowed her to fall asleep in our room because we had an upcoming visit from my inlaws who would be sleeping in her room during their visit.
Although I still had to lay with her, she slept soundly and without fear, crying or hysteria over wanting to sleep with mommy & daddy. Now that the dust has settled, trying to get back into a regular routing is hard. Devin parked himself outside of her door in a rocker for just over an hour on the first night preventing her from running out and me from going in to comfort her. There’s something about hearing “mommy night-night,” “mommy/daddy room,” and even “mommy hugs & kisses” that just tears at my heart strings. I know that it’s for the best and she’ll get over it, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make me crazy with worry while the hysterical crying and wanting to be comforted is going on.
Which leads me to wonder how things are going to be once Lucas arrives in August. Will Olivia decide that mommy & daddy’s bed absolutely must be her’s again? Will she want to sleep each night in a crib? Will she want to sleep with her new brother? Will she try kicking him out of bed? I know that bedtime transitions are a growing pain for every new family, but I’m trying my best to make mental preparations so that I can be prepared for them. Until then, I’m doing my best to remain calm and cool while fighting the urge to comfort her during bedtime.
devinanderica 